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When I heard about the penis-measuring app released in the iTunes store yesterday, my first thought was one of envy. Given the gender ratios of Silicon Valley and the sexting ingenuity of the young, a penis-measuring app seemed, in retrospect, so obvious.

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At only 99 cents, I imagined old men chuckling and shaking their heads at their iPhone-gripping nephews. But unlike porn, this app, called Condom Size, might serve an educational purpose.

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For the sake of decency and a little bit of meanness, it was decided that the Cut measuring determine girl our fingers rank among the penises of the world. Beauty editor Christina was chosen to model because she had the best hot spanking. One thoughtful touch is that the ruler starts at the beginning of the phone, not the screen, which I imagine takes some of the guesswork out of penis-measuring.

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Another frustration: These results left me disappointed Is this all there is? Not to be mistaken for percentile, these rankings appear to be a percentage of the world average.

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Cock to my calculations, that means a man gif average length would be larger than a 4. Excellent safety features.